No One Knows How Great I’m

I believe, no one on this earth really knows the true me. Sometimes I feel like a few people know me quite well. But then after mulling over it, I realised that no one knows me well.

They know me by my clothes, my look, my demeanor, my expressions and by other superficial idiosyncrasies. However, that’s not true me. No one had ever tried to understand my eternal soul. But why do they try to? Good question! Despite the fact that I always try to understand the innermost soul of the people around me. What is bothering them, why they tend to behave in any perticular way? and all. But I never tell them, because it isn’t going to make any difference.

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I wondered, how many people around me really know me, and about how great I’m. Greatness in terms of being me, being compassionate and empathetic and not in terms of superiority. Yes, I believe my family know me very well. They know what I want and what my potential is. But then, it is their love for me. That’s why they trust me. But, deep inside, they are also apprehensive about me.

I know, their apprehensions about me are obvious. I haven’t proved myself yet. But I believe, that I know myself very well. I know, self-actualization is not enough, one needs to be successful in whatever he does. It’s a different matter that I don’t do anything just for the sake of being successful. I don’t want to become like someone else out there. I just want to do something meaningful. Because I know my worth. And some day all the people out there will also know it. And then, they’ll start appreciating me. So, people’s applause is not a reward for me at all. Because, I know how great I’m.

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Why Cant I?

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If they can easily get it without wanting it so badly, than why not me.

It’s not that I’m being unreasonable. It wasn’t just a wild dream of mine. It was a thing which I was expecting after so much of persistence. One thing which is killing me the most is, these three words, Why Can’t I? I know something’s wrong with me. Perhaps, I should paraphrase it by, I’m different. I don’t give a duck about the way others are gonna think or perceive my failure as.(yes I accept that it is my failure)

People think that I’m not so deserving, or something lacked in me, and I had made some mistakes in my preparation, and some things might have gone wrong. But I very well know my capabilities and my potential, which all the people on this world won’t be able to comprehend right now. They can console me. However, one thing they won’t be able to understand is how I am feeling right now. And what I feel about myself, which is exactly same as before. They say they do, but I think that’s just bullshit.

Results and rewards will never be able to soar my self-esteem, it’s my sheer perseverance which can do so. After all, I gave my all. That’s why I don’t have remorse. I would like to cite my favourite lines from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’-

“And so hold on, when there’s nothing in you,
Except the will says to you to hold on.
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

Why emotional people are most detached ones

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Emotional people like to build a wall around to protect themselves from getting hurt.

What being a detached person really mean? If something doesn’t bother you much, why wouldn’t you’ve been really attached to it. I would like to mention the instance which made me understand the fact. Today, I was talking to one of my friends, who was happened to be a responsible citizen. As election is around the corner, I asked him about his preference for political party. “I just don’t care about elections, I’m not even going to vote this time, I’m really detached from this stuff”, he replied. I said, “you aren’t detached, instead you’re frustrated”.

Suddenly when I tried to delve deeper into the matter, I realised, what exactly impelled him to be detached. It was because somethings are making him upset. Today’s political scenario must be exasperating him. After all, there are people who aren’t so concern about who is making mendacious claims and who is going to be elected, but still they go and vote. They aren’t detached to the matter. Because it is not agitating them.
Finally I apprehended, that whether it be any sensitive matter of your family, friends or about your soul mate, if you find him detached, dig a little bit deeper into his heart. I’m sure you’ll find him emotional and compassionate.

If You Let Them Kill You- They Will

Why don’t people understand the reason why I’m fighting this for. However, I don’t want to waste my efforts to make them apprehend about my battle. Because at the end what counts is, whether you succeed or not! No one on this earth will ever be able to know about your pain, your desperation, your never-say-die attitude and how long you have been fighting for your dreams. No one, except yourself.

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Fight for life

Therefore, I believe, that you should not try to make them understand about your persistence and perseverance to succeed. They don’t even know about it. You just can do one thing, is ignore them. Or let them say and believe what they want to. You have to have faith in your dreams and the abilities you have to achieve those dreams. Because, no single person on this earth can stop you from doing what you want to.

Today, I have got to tell myself, that this fight is not for proving them wrong, or for getting the fame and applause of the people around me. No! This fight is against myself, to prove it to myself, that why I was right. And to prove that I’m far from invincible. Else, why would I have travelled this long upstream journey just to show them the reality? I don’t care about theirs diluted reality. In the end, I must admit, that their criticism makes me more stronger and determined.

You’ve gotta want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe.

I Deserve My Dream

I have been preparing for this dream B school from more than two years now. Tomorrow is the D Day of my life. I have its entrance exmaination tomorrow.

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It’s one day to go now. And I just want to remind myself that why I’m the one who deserves to be into MICA. And why I do stand out of all the bafoons out there who just don’t know much about marketing-communications, and they just want to be at a cool place. I’m genuiny interested into this field and I know it very well.

I have travelled a long way. I have come too far, so much that I can’t move backwards now. Because Mica was the dream of my life. I wasn’t fucking around since last two-and-a-half years. I deserve it because I have been thinking about Mica every day and night. I deserve it because I have given my all efforts to achieve this dream. I deserve it because I have fought this battle all alone, against this whole world full of morons. I deserve it because I fucking know that I deserve to get into it. I deserve it because.. No man will ever love MICA the way I do. Only that’s why I’m going to study into MICA.

Yes, I’m going to thrive on Micat tomorrow. I’ll win this battle for sure!
Baby, I’m coming!!

It’s never too late to learn something new!

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I had attended ‘The Speakers’ Forum’ before few days and gave the speech on the same topic. I want to improve my public speaking. So, that was an ardent attempt to it. That was not my first attempt, although it seems to be the one!! Here’s the speech which I have made for it. –

‘Let me start by asking you a question, have you ever felt ashamed or embarrassed of your own past thoughts? If yes, then it’s good. You must have learnt something new in your life. You must have got mature in your life.

I would like to share something with you. I used to be a spoiled brat until last two years. I was not at all interested in studies. Almost everything except studies used to excite me. I was a below-average student, because that was not of my interest. My parents used to impel me for studying. I think that’s why I didn’t want to study. You can’t force someone to learn/study. If you really want to learn something thoroughly, you have to have an earnest desire to learn.

Now, I want to study further, I have a desperate desire to do an MBA in marketing-communication. It fascinates me a lot. But now it’s not so easy for me to get an admission in a top-notch college. I am facing difficulties to compete with my peers. Because they are superior to me. They have decent academic background. I feel insecure sometimes. I feel they are more deserving than me. But I have one precious thing with me which they might don’t have, a zest for learning, what I didn’t have learnt. I am going to become superior to them in the desire to learn something. I cant lose my hope and seat, I need to work hard to compete. I think there’s nothing like being late for learning something. I’ll fight till I die. I am sure I’ll get there one day. My heart says that.

I believe, life is all about learning, learning and then re-correcting your learning. Hence, how can you be late for doing something for what you’re born? I used to be a care-free person. But at that time too I was learning things unconsciously. I don’t have any remorse. We learn something new everyday, I think every moment. At this time too.

Let me give an example of my Idol, Steve Jobs. He was studying in the Reed college. It was a very expensive college and his parents’ almost all savings were being spent on his fees. But Steve was not interested in his course at all. So he decided to drop out of the compulsory classes and drop in to the calligraphy classes, which were very fascinating to him. He was not so certain about its practical application in his life. Although he learnt it. After ten years when he was designing first Macintosh computer, it all came back to him. It was the first computer with the beautiful typography. If he didn’t have learnt calligraphy, the personal computer might not have the wonderful typography that they do.

Hence, at the end every single tiniest thing that you have learnt in your life is going help you to add a feather to your cap. Life is a learning experience, only if you learn.’

Life is an Irony!

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Sometimes life sucks, when you don’t have anything to do or when you have many things to do,but none of them is interesting. And when you don’t want to do anything, just wanna have a good time with your loved ones and feel special, But you can’t because you have many things to do. And when you don’t have anything to do, you’re totally free to do anything but unfortunately you don’t have your loved ones with you or worse than ever you don’t have anybody!

In short life sucks most of the time. And when you’re having a good time, you’re enjoying your life,you’re not able to recognize it. You’ll realize it only after that time has gone forever, and then the only thing you have is the  Reminiscence. The remembrance of that happy time. And you have to live your whole life in that remembrance only. Life is all about that! You have to live your life either In the Remembrance of the good time you had in the past or In a Hope that you’ll have a good time in Future. That is the only thing you can think of and be optimistic about.  Is life all about hope? Life is an Irony!