Why Cant I?

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If they can easily get it without wanting it so badly, than why not me.

It’s not that I’m being unreasonable. It wasn’t just a wild dream of mine. It was a thing which I was expecting after so much of persistence. One thing which is killing me the most is, these three words, Why Can’t I? I know something’s wrong with me. Perhaps, I should paraphrase it by, I’m different. I don’t give a duck about the way others are gonna think or perceive my failure as.(yes I accept that it is my failure)

People think that I’m not so deserving, or something lacked in me, and I had made some mistakes in my preparation, and some things might have gone wrong. But I very well know my capabilities and my potential, which all the people on this world won’t be able to comprehend right now. They can console me. However, one thing they won’t be able to understand is how I am feeling right now. And what I feel about myself, which is exactly same as before. They say they do, but I think that’s just bullshit.

Results and rewards will never be able to soar my self-esteem, it’s my sheer perseverance which can do so. After all, I gave my all. That’s why I don’t have remorse. I would like to cite my favourite lines from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’-

“And so hold on, when there’s nothing in you,
Except the will says to you to hold on.
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

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